Lacy Bones

Position: Blocker
Number: i4Ni
Join Date: December 2008
Height: 5'4"
Birth date: May 25th

Distinguishing Characteristics: cheering, bad jokes, Pedialyte
Likes: nerd humor, all-track singalong
Dislikes: lazy people (oh the irony!), sprint drills
Injuries Sustained: popped kneecap
Idols: Dog The Bounty Hunter
Favorite Opponent: Dill Dozer
Favorite Fan: Mr. Bones
Outside Interests: Little Miss Domestic
Hidden talent: Full debutante bow, Mistress of Baking

Lacy Bones first awoke on the Island of Misfit Toys. Charlie-In-The-Box and the Spotted Elephant told her Santa thought she was too ruthless for all the little boys and girls to play with- her eye for an eye policy put too many boys in time out and too many girls in the infirmary. The disfunctional toys became fast friends, but during a game of Red Rover Lacy Bones had it when BirdFish broke the chain and let Rudolph over. "Screw this!" she said, "I know a place where players know how to hold a double-block better than this!" So she used the Misfit Cowboy's lasso to tie all the toys together to make a raft, setting sale for the coast of Texas.

Halfway from the North Pole, Lacy Bones ran ashore in Boston. As often happens the silly natives mistook her as heaven sent and set up a cult to the Goddess of Gore. Her slipshod raft torn assunder by the landing, she put her worshippers to work compiling the wreckage into her new tools- the ragdoll's hair became her laces, the teddybear's eyes her toestops, the hobbyhorse's hide was stitched into her boots, and the train's wheels refit. Now she was ready- Lacy Bones had her skates!

Like Munchkins for Dorothy, Lacy Bone's minions bid farewell to the Goddess of Gore and her Misfit skates. She skated and skated across the country leaving a trail of broken and bruised in her wake. When she finally got to Austin, the echoes of screams bounced up the alleys of Red River. Naturally she had to find out what the hubbub was all about. What should she happen to find? A posse of badasses beatin the sass out of a stuck up priss! Like a fly to honey, Lacy Bones picked up a pipe and joined those Tonya Hardings in the fray. The girl was home!